Reading and writing are such solitary pursuits, and let’s honest, many of us are introverts reluctant to ever leave our lairs. But growth can’t happen in a vacuum. As a storyteller, your work and creativity are influenced by everything around you, from the books you read to the way the sun reflects off that pond in the park. You’re constantly absorbing, whether you realize it or not.
So why wouldn’t you want to mooch a little knowledge off someone who’s already been around the block, someone who has achieved the things you want to achieve?
Mentorship is a common concept in many other areas of life or work. In sororities, they have Big Sisters and in support groups, they have a Sponsor. Because the buddy system works, y’all.
So why isn’t it something we hear about more often in the publishing world?
I’m lucky enough to have connected with Heather Demetrios, YA Author and Creativity Coach, in the Fall of 2016. At the time I was stalking authors of books I had recently read and loved, looking at their websites, reading blogs, scoping out their social media profiles. (Again, absorbing.) I had just read and loved her novel Exquisite Captive, and I found out she had a private Facebook for women writers called Pneuma Creative. From there I signed up for an online class she was teaching, then one-on-one coaching, and last but not least, the Pneuma Writing Retreat in October 2017.
Heather is so passionate about this creative life and she’s brave enough to share the mistakes and disappointments she’s faced throughout her publishing journey. I highly recommend signing up for her newsletters and joining the Facebook group for practical, spiritual, and creative inspiration.
But what do you ACTUALLY get out of having a mentor?
What’s in it for me?
Guidance
A great mentor has seen it all and can help you find the process that works best for you. It’s like a shortcut, but one with a lot of work.
During my one-on-one coaching, Heather and I explored what a creative life looked like for me–a writer with a full-time job, a spouse, and a disgusting amount of student debt. She helped me find my ideal process and set goals, and I went from writing 3,500 words each month, to writing 4,000+ EACH WEEK. It still blows my mind!
Industry Experience
If you’ve been in the writing community for long, you’ve figured out that this is not an easy industry. Of course, all you need to do is draft the next Harry Potter, publishers will battle for the rights, they’ll throw millions of marketing dollars at you, and you’ll live happily ever after.
Unless you’re Tomi Adeyemi, this probably isn’t going to happen to you, but hey, keep those fingers crossed…
A mentor will help set your expectations. They can’t magically ensure your publisher will spend big bucks to market your books, but they can prepare you for the reality of having to create and pay for your own swag, scheduling your own events, and cultivating relationships with bloggers.
In the Pneuma Creative group, Heather is honest about the mistakes she’s made and the disappointments that nearly set her back. Spend tons of money on swag that didn’t increase sales? Too many soul-sucking hours on social media instead of writing? Heather’s tried it and would advise against it.
Learn from their craft
Someone who’s successfully done what you want to do probably has some killer books already on the market. Reading them is a great place to start. (But also…any published author can function as a mentor in this way.)
Heather, like many authors, publishes blogs and newsletters with tips on craft and process. Some of my favorite resources of hers are around the creative process, mindfulness, inspiration, and sometimes, some good ol’ tough love.
Connections
We live in writing caves, but eventually we’ll meet one or two other people on similar journeys, and *gasp* they might actually be kinda cool.
In Heather’s online class, she paired me with a lovely woman who would become my first critique partner. For many months after the class ended, we traded work, pushing each other, and commiserating over all the things we didn’t know.
At the Pneuma Retreat, I met 6 other lovely women who love reading, writing, and peanut butter cookies as much as I do. We critiqued each other’s work, practiced meditation, and stayed up late talking, eating, and most importantly, laughing. A year later, we’re still in contact and occasionally exchange work.
Motivation
The benefit of having someone in your corner is not to be underestimated. Not only will a good mentor cheer you on, but in watching them, you can see that if they did it, you can too!
One of the most motivating things from being connected with Heather is that you can be a published author, you can have this career, and you can still have bad days. You don’t have to have all the answers, but you do have to keep on going. You’ll get there.
Remember that tough love I mentioned? This is Heather’s post that kicked my ass into gear, way back in the beginning.
Finding a mentor is hard work…
- You have to locate them.
- You have to make sure they’re worth their salt.
- You might get rejected if they aren’t in the right place to work with you.
- You might hear things you don’t want to hear.
- You might have to pay for their valuable time.
But did you notice what all of those things have in common? YOU. Why don’t you step out of your own head for a moment (I know, your characters are great company) and see what a pro has to say.
A great mentor is a gift. Take a chance. Fork over a little green if you have to. And be open to a great learning experience.